hopefinding's Diaryland Diary

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winter dream

.. lets have a winter

holiday. . with some

hot coco. .. ill bring

te blankie.. and you

bring the ..

marshmallows.. will

dance in the snow..

under the stars..
we'll dream away ..

the worries of the

day.... Let us build

that castle in the

sky....
---------------
the more i think about

my life the more i

wonder.. why i do what

i do.. why do i put up

with what i do.. am i

truely happy or am i

comfortable or am i

even that.. to be

honest i don't think i

would know bliss.. if

it slapped me in the

face..at this point..

there must have been a

small time in my

life.. where things..

just made sense..
Now don't get me wrong

i have not had a

horriable life..

really i havent. i was

just an average ..

american teenager..

really i was..
i guess i am below

average twenty

something year old..

(ie. i don't do

anything normall

people my age do )

Infact a lot of times

i feel like i am 30 ..

argh.. .but that is

okay..
..________________
in the last year i

have done a lot for

myself... i started

school.. started

really trying to loose

the weight... ..
but it hasn't been

with out the trials..

of everyday life..
______________________

_____
i had the issues.. of

health again this

year.. and the list

is..
reasons..i've been in

hospital .
1. allergies.
2. stomach flu
3. lower adomen pain.
4. poison ivy
5. poison ivy.
6. iud issues.
7.. ovaraian cyst.
8. cervical cyst..
.......

...............
argh that is alot.. i

am so tired.. of being

sick and stuff..
i have had to change

my diet.......

as for my family it

has been one crazy

ride for that too..
mom is good and mimi

is okay .. she got

remarried.. but he

died in october. :( so

we had to deal with

that. .. lets see..

dh's grand father..

moved to retirement

home.. and my dad.. is

falling off the wagon.
....
as for the munckin of
mine..HE IS GROWING he

is changing everyday

and boy does he have a

temper.. most days

he is so sweet.. but

other days.. i just

don't know what to do

with him..

----------------------
i think that .. i am

.. working on myself..

and getting in to

counseling.. it has

helped me alot.. so

far..... i hope that

things keep

progressing they way

they are ..
______________________

______________________
if you love me..
if you care i will

give you my all .. i

will pour everything

into you .. i will

give you all the

confidence in the

world what you lack in

the world i will give

you . if you are dull

i will give you my

light..i make you the

best person you have

everbeen. i will

become so wore out..

so broken from making

you better that.. the

only way to become

myself again to gain

my stength is to find

another who will

love.. me.. ........

______________________

______________________

_____

6:39 P.M. - 2011-01-13

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