hopefinding's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- winter dream .. lets have a winter holiday. . with some hot coco. .. ill bring te blankie.. and you bring the .. marshmallows.. will dance in the snow.. under the stars.. the worries of the day.... Let us build that castle in the sky.... my life the more i wonder.. why i do what i do.. why do i put up with what i do.. am i truely happy or am i comfortable or am i even that.. to be honest i don't think i would know bliss.. if it slapped me in the face..at this point.. there must have been a small time in my life.. where things.. just made sense.. i have not had a horriable life.. really i havent. i was just an average .. american teenager.. really i was.. average twenty something year old.. (ie. i don't do anything normall people my age do ) Infact a lot of times i feel like i am 30 .. argh.. .but that is okay.. have done a lot for myself... i started school.. started really trying to loose the weight... .. with out the trials.. of everyday life.. _____ health again this year.. and the list is.. hospital . ............... am so tired.. of being sick and stuff.. my diet....... as for my family it has been one crazy ride for that too.. is okay .. she got remarried.. but he died in october. :( so we had to deal with that. .. lets see.. dh's grand father.. moved to retirement home.. and my dad.. is falling off the wagon. is changing everyday and boy does he have a temper.. most days he is so sweet.. but other days.. i just don't know what to do with him.. ---------------------- .. working on myself.. and getting in to counseling.. it has helped me alot.. so far..... i hope that things keep progressing they way they are .. ______________________ give you my all .. i will pour everything into you .. i will give you all the confidence in the world what you lack in the world i will give you . if you are dull i will give you my light..i make you the best person you have everbeen. i will become so wore out.. so broken from making you better that.. the only way to become myself again to gain my stength is to find another who will love.. me.. ........ ______________________ ______________________ _____ 6:39 P.M. - 2011-01-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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